It is hard to speak on what life in prison is like if you have not experienced it. Another reason it is difficult to speak on is because we become numb to it. Behaviors that are abnormal become "normal". We are slowly conditioned to live in a small world of control, angry voices, put down on a daily basis, confronted by guards and corruption on both sides.
There is no separation of morality here. It is only separated by uniforms. In truth-it is all the same. There is a series called Beyond Punishment by Julie K. Brown a journalist for the Miami Herald. She did a series on Lowell women's prison. On my mom's website, www.inmateslivesmatter.net there is a link to a 5 minute video about the series. It pretty much says everything.
Our new colonel has instructed staff to no longer call us Ms. or Ma'am but to call us Inmate. How often do I hear an officer say on a daily basis to several inmates, "what are you stupid, inmate". It can be screamed from the tower for all of the compound to hear and not one "higher-up" says anything. With our new administration, the focus has become harsher; taking away the little we had to do-like movies in the chapel and we have less recreational time.
We live within a compound that have few programs and slim pickings for jobs. Here is what we have for 1500 inmates:
GED class-state gets paid for only 22 y/o and younger.
Drug Program-It's a joke-where everyone hooks up and is only for 3 years or under left in your sentence.
Religious Program-Christian based and you receive a certificate nobody cares about especially the parole board.
HVAC is the best program-with the intention that you will be a worker on the compound.
Fashion Design Class-only a select few can get in and how is that useful when you are out in the world?
Chapel-the chapel has various activities but you have to be religious. So, if you don't want to study the bible or listen to preaching, you can't go. I am spiritual, but not religious.
Any of the programs last anywhere from 1 year to 18 months. If a long-timer did all of them, they would be done in a few years-then what? Where is the rehab, counseling, job training? Why are they not teaching people how to transition back into society by building their self-esteem, teaching them coping skills, healing their spirit. I know some who have 30 certificates of completion and when their parole came up, it made no difference.
Two days ago a Sgt, slammed a girl who was cuffed behind her back. Inmates have been getting sent to confinement (jail in the prison) for broken name tags, carrying their RDP lunch bag, not having their shirt tucked in and other minor things. They intimidate inmates through bullying and using racial slurs and sexually-inappropriate language.
If you want to get through prison, keep quiet, keep your head down and follow every direction and order no matter now ridiculous. I have seen officers tell girls to hop on one foot, say foolish things, draw hearts because they throw hearts as punishment (have to clarify that with Sadie-not sure what that means). We are their entertainment. What is important within a person with integrity is intention. What is your intention when you treat people without regard or respect? Intention should always be from love and goodness. I have met 2 officers with good intentions in years. We are left with a staff who has bad intentions and if intentions are bad from your stewards and caretakers, how are you supposed to feel good about yourself or get rehabilitated. You only attempt to survive this time here hoping that every move you make doesn't make it harder.
We have broken the law. We have been sentenced to prison-away from friends, family and society. We are doing our time. The environment on the compound is negative and hurtful and no one cares-we deserve this right? We are not helped, we are harmed. We are mother's daughter's, sisters, aunt's, nieces and grandmothers. We could be your loved one. You could be here. If you have a loved one addicted to drugs they are always one step away from incarceration. If your tired one night and your driving and you run a stop sign and hit another car and kill someone, you will end up here. If you are in a domestic violence situation and you kill your abuser, you will end up here. There are many ways to end up here.
Yard time is time outdoors. During the day, the TV is off, showers are turned off, nothing to do so yard time becomes important and the guards seem to allow it or not allow it on a whim. We may get a total of 2 hours yard time each day and some days no yard time.
And you are stuck indoors with nothing to do and people become agitated and angry Cooped up like animals. Women cut themselves, yell, bang on windows, argue and fight with each other our of frustration. In a dorm 24/7 with nothing to do The compound creates it's own issues by focusing on the wrong things. Then you have officers who are trigger happy to spray and use force on inmates. Indigent people have to beg for toilet paper, shampoo, pads.
Enough for today.
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